Let Your Feelings be Your Guide
Have you ever had a time when you got exactly what you had been looking for -- or at least you thought you did, at first? When we want to bring something into our lives -- a new relationship, a better job, an upgraded living situation -- we usually spend a lot of time and energy thinking about how we want it to be.
“I want a partner who is smart, kind, funny, giving, attractive, likes the same music as me, enjoys the same activities as me…”
“My ideal job has a higher salary, better benefits, is aligned with my personal values, has a shorter commute, offers growth opportunities, cool coworkers…”
“My next apartment will have hardwood floors, big sunny windows, dishwasher, washer/dryer, quiet neighbors, outdoor space, affordable rent…”
You may say to yourself, “I’m not going to settle for anything less.” You value yourself and your ideas of what you deserve to have -- and the job, partner, or apartment has to check off all the boxes on your list of desired qualities, or else it’s not meant to be.After some time, you may find the relationship, land the job, or sign the lease. You’re overjoyed!! Every item on your checklist has been met by this thing that you’ve manifested into your life -- you found it, and you didn’t have to settle.
And sometimes, things work out just perfectly.
But other times, you might notice after a few days, weeks, months that you’re not feeling as happy with your new situation as you thought you would. You might think to yourself, “What’s wrong with me? I finally have this thing exactly as I wanted it, but I’m not even appreciating it. Maybe I need to work on being more open and grateful.” Or perhaps you would say, “This thing is exactly what I wanted -- it can’t be wrong for me. Maybe I’m just not used to actually having good things in my life -- I need to give myself more time to get used to it.”
And then you embark on a process of trying to change yourself and/or lower your expectations for your own happiness, all because every box on your checklist was checked off. Rather than seeing that this thing just isn’t right for you, despite the perfect checklist, you end up thinking you are the problem!
BUT what if you changed your approach from the beginning? What if, instead of spending so much time focusing on exactly what the partnership/job/apartment will be like, you focused your energy on how you want to feel when you have it?
“I want to feel loved, supported, and stimulated in partnership. I want to laugh, and feel safe when Ineed to cry. I want to feel free to express myself as I grow and evolve, and learn how to offer the same freedom to my partner.”
“In my perfect job, I will feel competent but also appropriately challenged. I will feel supported by my boss and coworkers, and enthusiastic about exploring new opportunities. I’ll feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries regarding work/life balance.”
“When I’m in my ideal home, I will feel safe and comfortable. I want to feel like it’s truly my home, not just a place to sleep and keep my stuff. I want to be able to enjoy my space without feeling I have to sacrifice peace of mind because of the cost of rent or other external factors.”
If you let your feelings be your guide, you are acting on your intuition. Begin by letting your intuition tell you what is right for you around how you want to feel -- your higher self will never guide you wrong when it comes to your best interests. And then, once you are in that new situation, continue to check in with yourself to see if your reality is matching up to your intuitive wisdom. On this path, you will be much quicker to realize when something seems right at first, but just isn’t for you in the end. Rather than spending time and energy trying to convince yourself to love the “perfect checklist,” you’ll recognize that all that glitters isn’t gold, and allow yourself to simply move on.
And ideally, when manifesting new things into our lives, we will all use both techniques. It can absolutely be helpful to have an idea of what we want our external circumstance to look like, as long as we stay open and flexible about which boxes must be checked off, which ones can actually go unchecked, and what items we can add to the list that we hadn’t even thought of before. And what guides us in that flexibility? Our feelings.
Focusing on our feelings in this way helps us to develop a stronger relationship with our intuition -- giving us practice noticing, listening to, and then acting on our own internal wisdom. So if you have a list in mind regarding something you’d like to manifest into your life, revisit it. Create a companion list of the feelings you’d like to manifest as well, and let yourself be guided by your loving intentions.